Friday, 12 October 2012


So, here's the latest: After an exhaustive investigation, we have concluded it's most likely that Walker is at a secret hideaway on a private island near Costa Rica.  He spends his time practising his martial arts skills, reading high-brow paperbacks and contemplating how to finish Brendan off for good next time.....

Yes - hurray, it's Ninja!Walker. I don't know about you, but we thought it was a bit mean of the 'Later' folks to tease us with a tantalising glimpse of the awesome sight that is Ninja!Walker, but then have him going after Brendan's nearest and dearest with a mere gun.  Frankly, we felt a tiny bit cheated.

Admittedly we did love the sexy wide-stanced gun-pointing, but we can't help feeling a vague sense of disatisfaction that we never got to see him unsheathe his sword.

Now obviously here at the Brady Lounge we do not like to think about the end o' Brendo; we'd happily watch him strutting around the village until he's drawing his pension and wearing beige polyester slacks and velcro-fasten shoes.  But that's not going to happen, so when his time does come to make a dramatic exit, we are pushing for Death by Ninja.  (We feel it's what has been missing from soaps thus far).

Oh, and in case you are now trying to picture pensioner were we.

Thumbs up for pension credit.
(Not our finest work perhaps, but it turns out ageing people convincingly is a lot harder than turning them into hot cops.)
But now back to Walker...and we aren't ready to say goodbye to him just yet. So, The Brady Lounge now pays tribute to Walker in the best way we know how....with gratuitous fakey pictures: 

We know a few of you rather liked SexyCop!Brendan a while ago, and hey, Walker actually is a cop, so....

Nice. I don't think too many of us would be resisting arrest if he got his baton out.

Depending on your tastes though, you might prefer brassy-but-classy

Strangely alluring. 

And least glamorous of all, but I couldn't's Walker!Walker..


And sadly, that's it for !Walker. We had a couple of other ideas, but we got a bit distracted and ended up making a lovely Naked-Emmett pen pot instead (terrific, isn't it....decorative and useful!...)

But I digress.  The time really has come for us to bid a teary-eyed final farewell to the wonderful Walker....
we miss you already!

Monday, 8 October 2012


Breaking News
Following the launch last week of a huge nation-wide manhunt for creepy killer cop Simon Walker, police are today requesting the public's help to answer the question: Where's Walker?

  32 year old Walker is wanted by police for questioning in connection with the shooting last week of local pretend footballer Riley Costello, and pointless attack on undercover boss cop DI Shawnee Shawnee.  Police suspect he may also be involved in crimes against fashion, including the wearing of horrific dad jeans during an undercover operation in August.
"The jeans were both unflattering and unfashionable," remarked busty blonde ladycop DI Small, who is leading the investigation.  "There's no excuse for that kind of behaviour.  We need to catch this man."
Posters and flyers have been circulated in the Hollyoaks area (approximately 40 square yards), and police are urging anyone with information to come forward. 
Walker is around 6ft tall, of medium build, and walks with a noticably snake-hipped gait. He was last seen wearing dark clothing, but police believe he may now be wearing a distinctive red-and-white striped jumper and matching bobble hat.
"We believe he is hiding in large crowds to avoid detection", disclosed DI Small.  There have been several reported sightings already, with members of the public claiming to have spotted him in a football stadium, a busy street market, and a roman army camp.

Several witnesses report seeing Walker in this beach scene, but forensic experts have been unable to make a positive identification.
"We thought we'd found him at one point", admitted a senior evidence technician, "but it turned out just to be a stripey towel."
 It is possible that Walker may also have altered his appearance, so police have released a series of E-fit pictures showing how he may look now: 
Walker may have altered his appearance to appear less noticable.
 "He is a master of disguise," pointed out DI Small, "an expert at blending into a crowd." She added that his undercover police training will make him difficult to track down, so information from the public could be vital. 
Anyone with knowledge of his wherebouts is asked to contact the incident room, but advised not to approach him, as he is considered armed and dangerous.
"Walker has considerable ninja skills and may be carrying offensive weapons," warns DI Small, "it's possible he may be armed with fake grenades, or ill-fitting denim casualwear."